Ingram on Enlightenment & the Default Mode Network

In many discussions about meditation and insight, the idea of “enlightenment” is often shrouded in mysticism or dismissed as an unattainable state. However, drawing on both first‐hand accounts and emerging neuroscience, Daniel Ingram’s perspective offers a refreshingly grounded view. Ingram explains that enlightenment isn’t about transcending our ordinary human experience—it’s about reconfiguring the way our mind processes thoughts and emotions. It's a shift in the default mode of our awareness.

The Default Mode Network and the Narrative Self

Our brain, in its default state, is hardwired to generate a constant stream of thoughts. This activity is largely orchestrated by the default mode network (DMN), a collection of brain regions that are active during mind-wandering and self-referential thinking. Think of it as your brain's "autopilot" mode, the state it defaults to when you're not actively engaged in a task. It's responsible for:

Mind-wandering: Daydreaming, thinking about the past, planning for the future, and generally letting your thoughts roam.
Self-referential thinking: Thinking about yourself, your identity, your worries, your goals, your relationships – essentially, the ongoing narrative you have about "you."

Central to the DMN is the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC), which Ingram specifically mentions. The PCC plays a key role in maintaining the narrative self—the story we tell ourselves about who we are. It's like the central storyteller in your mind, constantly weaving together your experiences into a coherent (but often biased and reactive) personal narrative.

Example of DMN in action: Imagine you're sitting on the couch after work, intending to relax. If you don't consciously engage in something (like watching a movie or reading), your DMN will likely kick in. You might start:

Ruminating about a work problem: "Why did my boss say that? I should have responded differently. This is so unfair."
Worrying about the future: "I have that big presentation next week. What if I mess up? I'm not prepared enough."
Getting lost in memories: "Remember that embarrassing thing I did years ago? Ugh, I still cringe."

These are all DMN activities, and they often contribute to stress, anxiety, and negative emotions.

Research has shown that experienced meditators tend to exhibit reduced DMN activity, especially in the PCC. For instance, studies by Brewer et al. (2011) found that long-term meditators demonstrate a significant decrease in DMN activation, correlating with diminished self-referential processing. This suggests that through sustained practice, our brains can learn to “quiet” the internal chatter that often fuels stress and reactivity. Meditation, particularly insight meditation, is a method to train ourselves to be less dominated by the DMN.

“Holding the Room”: A Practical Metaphor

Ingram uses a vivid and incredibly helpful metaphor: imagine all of your experience as a room. This "room" isn't a physical space, but the totality of what you are aware of right now. This includes:

Sensory perceptions: Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch sensations from your body and the environment.
Thoughts: The mental commentary, ideas, memories, plans that arise.
Emotions and feelings: Sensations in the body associated with happiness, sadness, anger, fear, etc.

For most of us, the contents of this room are dominated by our thoughts and feelings—like oversized, loud projections that can suddenly overtake the space. Think of it like this:

Pre-Insight "Room":

Dominant feature: Huge, brightly colored, and very loud projections of your thoughts and emotions on every wall. They are so big and overwhelming that they seem to be the room itself.
Other contents: The actual "room" – the sensory input of your surroundings – is dim, muted, and barely noticeable, like furniture pushed into the corners and covered in shadows.

When fear, anger, or sorrow strikes in this "pre-insight room," these sensations can expand until they nearly fill the room, triggering a cascade of stress responses. You become completely identified with and lost within these feelings.

The practice of “holding the room” involves maintaining a steady, open awareness of the whole space even when difficult emotions arise. Instead of closing off or becoming engulfed by these sensations, you keep your eyes open—both literally and metaphorically—to the full spectrum of experience. You intentionally broaden your attention to include everything present, not just the intense emotion.

Steps to "Hold the Room" (Based on Ingram's Example):

Establish the "Room": Open your eyes and become aware of your surroundings. Notice the visual field, sounds, and any bodily sensations. Let this be the "frame" of your experience. Actively intend to hold this broad awareness.
Invite the Emotion/Thought: Deliberately bring to mind a thought or memory that typically triggers a strong negative emotion (like fear, anger, sadness).
Feel the Emotion in the "Room": Allow the emotion to arise in your body. Notice the physical sensations associated with it. Crucially, keep the "room" as the frame. Don't let the emotion become the entirety of your experience. Continuously remind yourself of the broader sensory field – sights, sounds, your body in space.
Observe the Proportion: Ask yourself: "What percentage of my total experience is this emotion/thought right now? How big and strong is it relative to the entire room?"
Notice the Shift: If you are truly holding the "room" as frame, you'll likely find that the intense emotion feels less overwhelming, less solid, and less "real." It might even start to dissipate or feel more manageable. As Ingram's example person said, "I can't make the fear stick... it's just disappearing!"

Post-Insight "Room":

Balanced contents: The "room" is evenly lit. Sensory perceptions of the environment are clear and present. Thoughts and emotions are still there, but they are now like "wispy little things" – noticeable but not overwhelming, not dominating the space.
Perspective and spaciousness: You have a sense of spaciousness and perspective. Emotions and thoughts are recognized as temporary events within the larger field of awareness, not as who you are or as the entirety of reality.

When you do this, the overwhelming emotions shrink into “wispy little things” rather than ballooning into uncontrollable forces. They still convey information, but they don't hijack your entire system.

By training in this way, one develops what Ingram calls a post-insight relationship with experience. The pre-insight state is characterized by a mind that, when triggered, lets thoughts and emotions amplify unchecked, fueled by the DMN’s self-referential loops. Post-insight, however, the mind learns to keep these internal events contained. In other words, you become less likely to get caught in the re-triggering loops of adrenaline and cortisol that fuel cycles of stress and reactivity.

Example of reduced re-triggering: Imagine the earlier example of remembering an embarrassing moment.

Pre-Insight: You remember the embarrassing moment. Anger/shame arises. You focus intensely on the memory and the feeling. Your DMN kicks in, replaying the scenario, generating more self-critical thoughts ("Why did I do that? I'm so stupid!"). This intensifies the negative emotions, releases stress hormones, and you get stuck in a downward spiral of negativity. The "room" is completely filled with this negative self-narrative.
Post-Insight: You remember the embarrassing moment. A slight twinge of discomfort might arise. However, because you are "holding the room," you notice this discomfort within the broader context of your present moment awareness. You might notice the sounds around you, the feeling of your feet on the floor, the visual field. The discomfort is there, but it doesn't become exaggerated. You recognize it as a fleeting sensation, a "wispy little thing" in the room. The DMN doesn't get triggered into a full-blown self-critical loop. The feeling passes relatively quickly without spiraling.

Research Meets Experience

Neuroscientific findings lend credence to this view. As research indicates, the DMN’s deactivation in seasoned meditators aligns with a subjective sense of spacious awareness—a state in which thoughts are recognized as transient phenomena rather than definitive truths. This deactivation prevents the runaway “echo chamber” of self-referential thought that can lead to anxiety, depression, or compulsive rumination.

Studies have not only highlighted reduced DMN activity but also increased connectivity in regions associated with attention and emotional regulation. This means that while the DMN is less dominant, other brain networks related to present moment awareness and emotional balance become stronger. Ingram’s description of maintaining the “room” is analogous to this enhanced ability: by keeping the backdrop of awareness constant, the mind can process fleeting thoughts and sensations without letting them dictate emotional states. You have more conscious control over where you direct your attention and how you respond to emotions.

Ordinary Life, Extraordinary Insight

Perhaps the most compelling aspect of Ingram’s narrative is his insistence that even an “enlightened” person remains an ordinary human being. Enlightenment does not end the experience of daily life—it reshapes it. Tasks as mundane as doing the dishes or sweeping the floor remain, but they are now accompanied by a refined sense of presence. You are more fully there while doing them, less lost in thought. You still feel emotions and think thoughts; the difference lies in how you relate to them. They are not seen as inherently solid, permanent, or "you."

This perspective is liberating. It demystifies enlightenment by demonstrating that its benefits are not reserved for a select few who can “turn off” their mind, but are available to anyone who learns to reframe their experience. By reducing the grip of the DMN on our daily lives, we can avoid being trapped in cycles of negative reactivity and instead cultivate a more balanced, resilient mindset. It's about shifting your default mode from being lost in thought and reactivity to being present, spacious, and aware.